What is domestic violence?
is a pattern of coercive tactics carried out by an abuser
against a family or household member (the victim) with the
goal of establishing and maintaining power and control over
the victim. These tactics can be physical, psychological,
sexual, economic, and emotional.
What is the difference between fighting and battering?
and differences of opinion are parts of normal relationships.
An abusive relationship is distinguished by an ongoing pattern
of control and coercion. The "fight" is not between
people of equal power, but occurs within a relationship
in which there is an imbalance of power and the use of abusive
control tactics by one party.
How can I tell if I may be in an abusive relationship?
Does your partner:
- Hit, punch,
slap, choke or shove you?
- Destroy personal
- Keep you from
seeing your family or friends?
- Control all
the finances and/or take your money?
- Threaten to
harm you or your children?
or embarrass you in front of others?
- Show extreme
jealousy or make false accusations?
- Force you
to have sex against your will?
These are all
examples of abusive behavior. If any of these things are
happening to you, call our hotline immediately: 1-888-252-9360
Why does someone stay in an abusive relationships?
There are many
reasons a person may not feel ready or able to leave an
abusive relationship. Some of these may be:
- Fear of physical
danger to self or children
- Fear of reduced
standard of living - loss of home, possessions
- Fear of losing
income or job
- Fear of losing
partner, losing the relationship
- Fear that
the abuser will follow through on suicide threats
- Fear of losing
children by parental kidnapping or as the result of a
legal custody decision
- Fear of the
- Fear of being
pressured to maintain the relationship based on religious
and/or cultural beliefs
We should also
ask why an abuser would stay in a relationship with someone
they don't respect or value enough to keep from harm.
Why does domestic violence happen?
is not caused by stress, mental illness, alcohol, or drugs.
The only true cause of domestic violence is the abuser's
choice to act violently.
Does violence occur in same-sex relationships?
does occur is same-sex relationships. Statistics show that
same-sex violence is as common as heterosexual relationship
violence. The elements of abusive relationships are similar
for hater- and homosexual couples.
I'm worried about someone I know - what can I do?
It can be frustrating
if you know someone is being abused and they have not ended
the relationship. You can provide support and information,
let them know that the abuse is not their fault and that
no one deserves to be abused. Let them know that help is
available. Do not put yourself at risk by trying to intervene
Does domestic violence have an effect on children?
witnessing abuse blame themselves for problems occurring
in their family. Many children are seriously injured or
killed each year in an attempt to intervene to protect a
parent. Growing up in an abusive environment, a child learn
that violence is an effective tool and an acceptable way
to interact with others.
Are heterosexual men ever the victims of domestic abuse?
As our understanding
of domestic violence increases, we must accept that men
can be and are abused by their wives and girlfriends. To
date, there are no reliable statistics on men who are abused
by their female partners.
What are the police required to do?
When police arrive
at the scene of a domestic incident, they are mandated to
complete a police report and to distribute a victim's rights
notice, even if no arrest is made. Under NYS law, an officer
must make an arrest when s/he has "probable cause"
to believe certain offenses that rise to the level of a
felony or misdemeanor have occurred. Arrests provide immediate
safety for the victim and others household members, and
officers can direct victims to other resources.